Letter #5 - Dude, how do I get hired at Granger Community Church? –from "Another Dude" in Someplace-That’s-Not-Granger, USA

Another Dude, this is a very interesting question. For starters, I must be honest and question your intelligence. Haven’t you heard? Granger is located in Indiana. It’s cold. It snows…a lot. The landscape is completely flat. We have cornfields. We’re called Hoosiers. Granted, it’s a step above living in Iowa, but why in the world would you consider moving your family to Indiana?

That aside, if you’re planning on getting hired at Granger Community Church this is what you’ll need to do:

  1. Move to Granger, Indiana.
  2. Begin attending Granger Community Church.
  3. Commit your life to Christ and follow him passionately.
  4. Get plugged into ministry.
  5. Demonstrate your ability to lead others effectively.
  6. Add so much value to the ministry that we have to invite you to join our staff team.
  7. Continue serving faithfully.
  8. Serve faithfully.
  9. Serve faithfully.
  10. Oh, looks like we’re at  a place where we may hire someone to lead that area of our ministry.
  11. Serve faithfully.
  12. Serve faithfully.
  13. Hmmm…maybe we should talk to Another Dude and see if he’s interested in stepping into full-time ministry.
  14. Serve faithfully.
  15. Let’s have him submit an application. We should probably also talk with these other people who have served faithfully, demonstrated their commitment to Christ and this ministry and have shown that they have towering leadership capacity.
  16. Serve faithfully.
  17. Serve faithfully.
  18. Go through extensive interview process. Submit to grueling interrogation.
  19. Wait patiently for someone to decide whether or not you’re a good fit for the team and the specific role.
  20. Get hired at Granger.

It’s a simple 20-step process. And, after you complete those 20 steps, of course, there’s no guarantee you’ll ever get hired, but you will have the opportunity to volunteer on a great ministry team that’s committed to helping people experience life transformation through a relationship with Jesus. It’s rewarding and wildly fun.

Oh…by the way…we have about 1,400 other people just like you that have already made it through at least step 4.

Now you know how to get hired at Granger. Sometime soon, I’ll share why we do it this way.