Kids Say the D$%&est Things

Last evening we were sitting at the dinner table having a great family conversation. And, as frequently happens, a question came up about a unique word that the kids had not heard before. When that happens at our house, someone runs into the living room and pulls the dictionary from the shelf and, together, we discover a new word.

Well, I mentioned that I was looking for a "D-word" and immediately Jacob, my eight-year-old son, started cracking up. He thought it was funny that his dad, a pastor, was looking up what in his mind was the "D-word." When I clarified for him that I was looking up a word that started with "D" not the D-word, he said, "That’s funny because I could have told you how to spell D$%&."

I must admit. It took everything I had to keep from laughing. I restrained myself, however, and kept my composure. And, like all good fathers would, I asked Jacob where he learned that particular D-word. Did you learn it at school? Did you learn it on the bus? Did you learn it from one of your "friends" in the neighborhood? At which point Jacob explained that he learned that D-word from "the confetti over by the baseball diamond."

Of course I’m thinking "Confetti by the baseball diamond? When have they had confetti at the baseball diamond? And, "D$%&" is a short word, but how in the H$%& did they get that on the confetti?"

Stunned. Silent. Only for a moment. Then it registered. He meant graffiti by the baseball diamond.

And, that’s how my son learned the D-word…or at least one of the D-words.