I’m traveling with Mark Waltz and Kem Meyer this weekend. We’re in Anderson, South Carolina visiting Perry Noble and the NewSpring Church team. I’ll offer more details about that later, but, in my commitment to full disclosure, I need to share with you an incident that occurred yesterday.
This, of course, is when I would normally provide my hotel soap update. Not this time. I can’t. I don’t want to incriminate the hotel where I’m staying, because the hotel had absolutely nothing to do with what happened to me.
It all began yesterday afternoon. Mark, Kem and I had just finished our workout at Anytime Fitness. Because I didn’t want to stink when I went out to eat with Perry and his wife, I decided to grab a quick shower. I had just finished lathering my back with the more the adequate bar of hotel soap, and I turned to rinse off. In the process of trying to turnaround in the shower, I lost my footing.
At that moment, my thoughts began to slow precipitously. First, I realized I lost my footing. Then I realized, I’m not going to be able to regain my footing. Then I realized, I’m going to fall in the bathtub. Then I began to realize, no, there’s no way I’m going to land “in” the bathtub. I grabbed for the shower curtain. Not sure why I did that. There was a large bar on the shower wall. Someone probably wisely put it there for people like me that have a propensity to fall when making sharp turns in the bathtub.
So, as I said, I grabbed for the shower curtain. That was helpful for a moment. It slowed the fall, but then the curtain ripped off the shower rod. By this time, by body was failing wildly across the bathroom. By the time I came to rest, my body was lodged between the bathtub and the toilet. The shower curtain was on the other side of the bathroom under the sink. The shower was still on. And, my back was still well lathered.
Honestly, the first thought that ran through my mind at this point wasn’t, “Am I OK? Am I hurt?” And, I wasn’t thinking, “Man, I’m fortunate, I could have hit my head and be in bad shape right now.” My first thought was this, “Dear God. I will never make fun of people who listen to country music again. Just don’t let Mark come in here to make sure I’m OK and see me sprawled out naked on the bathroom floor.”
At that point, I lifted myself off the bathroom floor, and tried to at least turn off the water so that it wasn’t spraying all over. Instead of turning the water off, I inadvertently turned the water temperature to its hottest setting. Of course I didn’t realize that until I had the curtain in my hand and was trying to reattach it to the shower rod. I scorched my right foot. But, I should point out, my back was still well lathered.
By the time I was fully recovered and fully rinsed, I ended up with minor scrapes on my back and a very red right foot. The only thing that was truly damaged was my ego. But, honestly, I’m a little concerned about my relationship with Mark Waltz. I’ve wondered several times over the last 24 hours, “What if I was really hurt?” How long would Mark have waited before he came and found out if I was really OK?” I guess I’ve found that you learn who your true friends are when you are sprawled out naked on the bathroom floor of a hotel room in Anderson, South Carolina. To Mark’s credit, though, he did provide this very detailed sketch to graphically represent my verbal description of “the fall.”
By the way, I executed all the pivots in the bathtub flawlessly this morning. I survived the shower without incident. My new streak of showers without falling begins today.
hilarious bro. you should write a book.
Well told, Tony. :)
So I’m asking myself, “What’s my takeaway? What can I learn from Tony’s pain?” I mean, besides making sure my wife knows it’s OK to come check on me if she hears a loud THUD in the bathroom, of course.
I think I’m going to practice grabbing the bar instead of the curtain. Hone my reflexes like a ninja. So that by the time I think, “I should grab the bar!” it’s already in my hand.
Thank you, Tony. You may have just saved my life today.
Horror of horrors! I just checked out my shower and I have NO bar to save my life. What to do, what to do..? I think I have it figured out and would like to pass this on to other barless shower bathing bloggers. I have a long back scrubber thingy hanging from my water faucet handle. In the event of a slip (or an earthquake since I live in California), I will grab onto my back scrubber and pray that it does not inadvertently turn the water temperature to scalding hot!
Glad you’re okay Tony. This is quite a story though. And the illustration…man, you could make that the one on your header, it looks so much like you :)
Tony – I care. Really. You’ll have to read my post to understand my predicament on the other side of the bathroom wall.
thank you for the graphic depiction of your bathroom adventure… i am so glad you ARE ok. that could have been very very bad.
praise the Lord for keeping you safe and allowing for a hilarious story.
keep in mind there are very visually-minded & imaginative people reading this. i dont know if i’ll ever be able to look you in the eye if i meet you in person.
I have not laughed that hard in awhile. Way too funny! Thanks for the play by play!
I knew I should have traveled with you guys this weekend. Mark Waltz may leave you in your injured naked state, but I would have come to your aid instantly…with my simply strategic camera of course.
Very Funny! That story made my Monday morning! You don’t know me but I am the children’s pastor at First United Methodist Church in Maumelle. I read your blog often. I talked to Brian Davis a week or so ago and hopefully, our team can catch up with your team at DRIVE. I’m loving what you guys are doing at GCC– and to know that you are methodist…it’s amazing.
[...] So, as I said, I grabbed for the shower curtain. That was helpful for a moment. It slowed the fall, but then the curtain ripped off the shower rod. By this time, by body was failing wildly across the bathroom. By the time I came to rest, my body was lodged between the bathtub and the toilet. The shower curtain was on the other side of the bathroom under the sink. The shower was still on. And, my back was still well lathered. [continue reading>>] [...]
Tony,
Thank you for sharing your story of the great fall in the hotel bathroom. Mine is a similar story.
We were visiting our nation’s capital, had even worshipped with our friends at Mark Batterson’s National Community Church. But on the morning of our departure I was moving toward the tub for the daily shower routine when my foot, as I was entering the shower, slipper and I landed sideways in the tub. My wife and 3 children came to my rescue. The bruises, aches, pain and more are vivid memories, and the families laugh every time we talk about it still causes my ego to not feel so good.
There. I shared my story. Hope that lets you know that Tony Morgan, the guru of of things better church leadership and impact, is not the only one who has taken such a great fall.
Blessings and hold on tight,
Michael
You’re not the only one… ;)