What are you doing to affair-proof your marriage?
I’ve gone back and forth over the last couple of days on whether or not I should share this. Given the magnitude of what’s at stake, though, I think it’s appropriate for you to hear this story.
Sometime today, you need to sit down and watch this video. It’ll be about a 30-minute commitment. As you’re watching it, do a few things:
- If you are married, ask yourself what you’re doing to affair-proof your marriage. This could happen to any one of us. None of us plans to have an affair, but all of us are familiar with this story. What are you doing to prevent it from happening in your life?
- If you are in ministry leadership, what are you doing to protect your fellow leaders?
- If you are not a senior pastor, pray for your pastor and the other senior leaders at your church.
- If you are a senior leader, take note of how well Dan Southerland communicates this message. He delivers difficult news in a way that addresses the sin, protects the families involved and rallies the church. I hope you never have to preach this message at your church, but this is a brilliant example of how leadership rises to the top in the midst of tragic circumstances.
- If you are a Christ-follower, pray for this church and the families involved. Pray that God will redeem this situation for his glory.
Here’s the video from Westside Family Church in Lenexa, Kansas.
thank you for posting about this. and for your prayers for our church staff and body.
blessings,
Crystal Renaud
Communications Associate
Westside Family Church
Thank you for posting this…as I sat in my church office, I cried. Cried for the devastation that sin causes, the hurts for that church family but I also cried because that leadership team … handled such an extremely difficult/devastating moral failure in such a loving way that addresses the sin, points people to God and bathes them in love — pretty Christ-like huh? I’ll be praying for our family at this church… we’re all related ya know… Tami
First, my prayers are with this church and the families involved in this situation- my parents marriage was destroyed because of an affair and I pray that God can bring healing for these families so that this is not the case here. I also wanted to say that I thought Don handle the situation in a great way. Personally I am wroking on a sermon for this Sunday night on 1 Corinthains 5, talking about how to handle sin in the camp. The words shared by Don have given me a lot more to think about. Again, let us all continue to pray.
as a former staff person at westside, and still having many close friends there (the miss crystal from above included) my heart goes out to them as well as dave and becky who were my supervisors.
many churches (my current church as well as westside) i know have certain “prevention policies” in place but a lot of good they do if they are not held in tact by those who agree to them. surrounding yourself with accountability is essential. asking tough questions is essential. approaching people when you suspect something in your gut is hard…but essential.
although chris (my husband) and i are both on staff here at lake pointe and abide by the prevention policy, it is between us who and how and where we spend our time. we keep that line of communication open. early in our marriage, i was [this close] to letting my emotions go too far with someone we knew.
i wrote about it here, (http://www.flowerdust.net/?p=149)
and if anyone is reading this and experiencing any of the warning signs that are listed (taken from the book “every woman’s battle”) please go talk to your spouse. it is the hardest thing to do but is the only thing to bring light into the dark areas of our lives.
My husband and I are both in ministry and our lives (we’re in our mid-twenties) have been peppered already with the pain of seeing the senior pastor of the church we grew up in and a pastor’s wife at a church my husband interned at be involved in affairs. The pain and the reality of these situations shook us to the core and we quickly developed our own “rules” for safe-guarding our marriage and our ministry (such as avoiding 1-on-1 meetings, not riding in vehicles with people of the opposite sex, carbon-copying each other on certain emails and having access to each other’s passwords, etc).
Some people think we’re crazy or legalistic because of our personal guidelines but we just remind them that our marriage and our opportunity to serve together is just that important to us.
Wow. I heard about this today and have been listening to Dan’s message, really powerful. Let this be a reminder (as others have said above) to set boundaries. Also we have to remind that people don’t just wake up one day and think “I’m going to have an affair today.” It all starts with a bit of laxity of guarding the heart… then maybe a thought… turns to dwelling… turns to an action… etc. It reminds me of the frailty of humans and how much depravity we are in. We’re all just a step or two from heading down the same path. God, help us remain pure before You and guard our hearts, and may You receive glory and many realize Your love and grace in the midst of this and by how the church has handled this.
Blessings!
This is how itsdone
Tony Morgan pointed us in the direction of a video from this weekend at Westside Family Church.
Im sure this will be cussed and discussed over the next few days and weeks, so Im not going to add a lot to it. I will say, though, that this …
Last week’s message…worth watching. Guard rails and rumble strips. All about marriage. Only current until Saturday then this links gets replaced w/ most recent week. http://www.gccwired.com/webcast/WeekendMedia.html
hi…my name’s daniel. i wanted you to know that i appreciate the support all of you are giving to these people and their families beyond anything you could even imagine.
a friend of mine showed me this and wanted to show me that people all over are supporting and praying for the people at my church. i have gone to westside for a long time and have never experienced anything like this at all.
God will prevail though…God will and already is working his miracles in the midst of this heart ache.
thank you so much!
I’m sorry but the video link is not working…any ideas?
Sorry, the church has decided to take down the link.
tony