Get Your Strategy On
“Metro-Rednexual” Contest
Jun252008 Filed under: Other Stuff Author: tonyThe other day my schedule was so packed that I only had time to run across the street to the gas station convenience store to grab lunch before my next meeting. That led to a very random conversation over on Twitter.
- Ken thought that sounded like something from Jeff Foxworthy.
- I agreed and suggested that, after almost a year and a half in the South, I may be starting to become a redneck.
- My assistant assured me there’s no way I could ever be a redneck.
- At which point Robert chimed in and said I may be “metro-rednexual.”
Among other things, I’m guessing a metro-rednexual buys lunch from a gas station and his clothes from The Buckle. What other characteristics would you add to the list? I need to confirm whether or not I qualify. Winner either receives a free lunch from the gas station or a gift certificate from The Buckle.
And, bonus points if you identify the most metro-rednexual guy you know.
This is an all-skate. Let me hear your ideas.
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Tony Morgan is a pastor and the Chief Strategic Officer at NewSpring Church where he develops creative solutions for communications, technology and NewSpring Ministries--the church's ministry that equips other church leaders.
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Mark Burleson
June 25th, 2008 at 10:54 pm
I’d have to say, that living in Oklahoma, the Metro-Rednexual’s would definitely drive a very clean pickup with 22″ chrome rims. Maybe something along the Explorer Sport Trac route.
Since you drive an Audi A6, much like myself, you definitely don’t think you fall in the redneck category in automobile section..
Mark
Nick
June 25th, 2008 at 11:00 pm
Highlights in the mullet
ken
June 25th, 2008 at 11:03 pm
“Since you drive an Audi A6, much like myself, you definitely don’t think you fall in the redneck category in automobile section.”
- Unless you put a gun rack in the back.
Peter
June 25th, 2008 at 11:38 pm
Just have to chime in on the gas-station bit. Apparently just a little south of where I am, a gourmet chef opened up a restaurant in a gas station. Supposedly at lunch time, you can’t park anywhere near the place. I need to get the name/location again, but it’s in the DFW Metroplex somewhere near Watauga.
Don’t really have anything else to contribute, but thought that this ties in a little.
Lia :)
June 25th, 2008 at 11:40 pm
Bear hunting country boy with clean fingernails and a faux hawk…Brad Cooper?
Paul Vasilko
June 25th, 2008 at 11:42 pm
Can hold intelligent conversations about both the newest innovations in bow-hunting and what just got announced at the Mac World Wide Developers Conference.
Chip Schneider
June 25th, 2008 at 11:45 pm
A Metro-Rednexual secretly craves an opportunity to display his expensively buff body(as is done at a NASCAR event) and stylish Rebel Flag Speedo, but coyly disguises his true wishes behind a joke about popping out of a birthday cake at work…
A Metro-Rednexual is conflicted about his intellectual nature and his animal nature. This conflict is acted out, but rarely resolved, through animal aggression veiled as intellectual property. For instance a book on organizational theory/practices is merely an intellectual shill for genetically coded hunting behavior. Book titles will normally contain aggressive action verbs (say ‘killing’) and symbolic animal subjects (say ‘cockroaches’).
A Metro-Rednexual has plans for a pool in his backyard, but only because the Federal Govt. was wise enough to pay for crimes against the Confederacy in the guise of “Economic Stimulus Checks”.
When on vacation, a Metro-Rednexual Twitters in code. His Redneck buddies know “shuttlecock” is code for horseshoe, but his Metro buddies trust he is dabbling in a bit of lawn tennis.
So after reviewing those Metro-Rednexual characteristics, I’d say, no….you are fine….no Redneck mixing in with your Metro-Midwesterness….really…
Derrick Henslee
June 26th, 2008 at 12:08 am
Here in Tulsa, OK…all have partaken of a salad or wrap sandwich from QT Kitchens. QT is a gas station..but for the up-scale gas station patron…who likes random gas station food.
Paul Stewart
June 26th, 2008 at 12:23 am
… If you wear designer jeans to the State Fair…
…. Or your best friend does and you hear yourself saying, “Are those Diesel’s? Spin around, let me see the back.”
… if you carry a man-purse to a monster truck rally…
…If you have matching throw pillows or an elaborate bedding ensemble in your ‘double-wide’…
— If you get your “skinny latte” from a machine in the Git-n-Go across the street…
… If you ask your barber for highlights…
… if you can’t drive by the Banana Republic outlet store without making a purchase…
— if your plans tonight include eating a Swanson TV Dinner while watching Will & Grace…
… if you dress like Scott Hodge but preach like Perry Noble…
You might be a Metro-Rednesexual!
Jill
June 26th, 2008 at 1:10 am
a true metro-rednexual would have run across to the gas station to get lunch, but asked if they had any California rolls to go…
Charlie Pharis
June 26th, 2008 at 4:30 am
I’m about 100% certain that in this visually-oriented culture in which we live, one need only to look metro-rednexual in the dictionary and you would see Gary Lamb’s picture. No words, no long Foxworthy-esque lists, just Gary’s picture. :-)
Joey Smith (CAVEMAN)
June 26th, 2008 at 6:49 am
Chews Red Man tobacco but spits in a Starbucks cup that at one time was the home of a grande skim toffee nut latte or a 1/2 white, 1/2 dark hot chocolate with skim milk and carmel topping
Rich
June 26th, 2008 at 8:18 am
***Pristinely dressed, latest styles, high and tight haircut (not a hair out of place)…but has a favorite Nascar driver and can talk pit strategy.
***Enjoys fru fru drinks from Starbucks and can always order correctly without using “large” “med” etc., never has to be corrected by the barista…but when in the office prefers his fru fru a latte in his favorite big mug.
*** A proficient tech hound that owns a blood hound.
***When listing friends/acquiantances can fill in the names Biffy and Bubba.
Greg
June 26th, 2008 at 8:27 am
You’ve programmed “Achy Breaky Heart” as the ring on your I-phone.
Phillip Coppedge
June 26th, 2008 at 8:29 am
A metro-rednexual secretly admires their awesome farmer’s tan created by wearing Trovata stripe polo shirts…
Tracy
June 26th, 2008 at 8:51 am
He’s at the lake fishin’ on Saturday morning…but he’s out eating $30 of sushi on Saturday night.
Israel
June 26th, 2008 at 9:02 am
You have a chewing habit, but instead of tobacco it is bean sprouts.
Marcus
June 26th, 2008 at 9:14 am
How ’bout “wears a John Deere shirt/hat/any other Deere stuff but doesn’t actually have a lawn mower.”
Skyler Goodman
June 26th, 2008 at 10:14 am
I think you are if you use product in your hair…except the product is motor oil.
Sandy Gibbes
June 26th, 2008 at 11:03 am
Some qualifications:
- Petitions “Express” to start an “Rebel Flag” line of clothing with a new style of “Gut-Cut” shirts.
- Chews tobacco… from Europe.
- Uses car grease to “style” his hair
- Somehow his mobile home is made by Audi (no offense T-Mo)
- Gucci cowboy boots.
- Pinstriped Wranglers.
- Waxes EVERYTHING, but the mustache stays.
- Drives a Prius…… that has a camo paintjob.
I may have more later…
aaron dewinter
June 26th, 2008 at 12:32 pm
How about:
-Your BKE jeans are worn from your keys being attached to your belt loop
-You drink “Diet” pop from a 84oz. plastic cup
-Your bumper is attached to your car with wire and your outfit is worth more than the car
-You ask the clerk at Speedway if they’re serving up any white chocolate & caramel macchiatos
-You purchase a hot dog or dry hamburger for lunch and a quart of oil so your car makes it back to work
-You know the release dates for the new fall clothing line and the schedule for flavor rotation on the freezy drink machine.
-You smoke 3 packs of menthols with no filter, but wear cologne or You wear an outfit from the Buckle, but ask the clerk if she’ll sell you a cigarette for 0.25.
ok, I’m out but I’ll keep my eyes on the speedway across the street for more ideaers.
Tina Harkey
June 26th, 2008 at 1:23 pm
From reading Gary Lamb’s blog I know he shops at Buckle. From reading Perry’s blog I know that he watches WWE. I can see the dictionary now with both their pictures:
Metro-Rednexual: Adjective describing recent explosion of southern pastors that are attempting to reach culture while still remaining true to their own identity. This person could be described as having a mixed sense of self as they attempt to hide their inner urges to wrestle, watch wrestling, play cornhole (i.e. Mark Batterson), coach various sports and enjoy spam and vienna sausages while shopping at Buckle, eating at PF Changs, having man dates and making sure to sport the last gadget available in technology and using the latest designed applications to “communicate”.
Charles
June 26th, 2008 at 1:46 pm
How about cover-alls and diesels….
Man-capri’s and a cammo hat?
Vaughn
June 26th, 2008 at 1:47 pm
A metro-rednexual….
– goes to Wal-Mart to buy sushi (the one close to Disney in Orlando actually has a sushi bar in the deli — and its not too bad!!)
– goes to Saks Fifth Avenue to purchase flannel shirts
– wishes beef jerky and pickled eggs were an appetizer at Ruth’s Chris
– purchases the decor for his midtown loft apartment at the Cracker Barrell Old Country Store
Billy Frye
June 26th, 2008 at 3:00 pm
One of the web apps that that makes a metro-rednexual’s life easier
is:
RoadKill- provides an online understanding of how to prepare fifteen different types of exotic dead animals.
James
June 26th, 2008 at 5:40 pm
If you wear Joop cologne then nothing else matters. You are metro-rednexual.
rick
June 26th, 2008 at 5:46 pm
plans an afternoon of golf at Catechee and stops at Skins on the way to hartwell…
Steve
June 26th, 2008 at 9:25 pm
A Christian metro-rednexual drives his4WD F250 to Catalyst Conference and frustrates the gal at the Chick fil A drive through cause she can’t hear his order over the diesel.
Robert Pooley
June 26th, 2008 at 11:30 pm
I think these all need to be categorized Foxworthy style…
If you……. you might be a metro-rednexual.
Scott
June 27th, 2008 at 1:17 pm
If you’ve ever bought a birthday/anniversary/holiday card for a significant other at the convenience store…
Jason
June 27th, 2008 at 11:04 pm
when you stop and get a latte’ on the way to your deer stand.
Nick
July 1st, 2008 at 12:19 am
A Metro-rednexual drinks his beer from a wine glass
Cameron
July 2nd, 2008 at 10:35 am
this is so my dad — he wears great jeans with designs on the pockets over his square-toed ostrich skin cowboy boots and tops the outfit off with a graphic tee. (he also eats from the gas station — we call it “kevin’s” and it happens to be the best restaurant in town)!