My apologies to everyone who participated in the Metro-Rednexual Contest. I’ve been delayed in compiling the results. After reviewing all the submissions, I’ve arrived at the following top 10 list. Without further delay:

You might be a metro-rednexual if…

  1. You have a gun rack in the back of your Audi.
  2. You have highlights in your mullet.
  3. You have matching throw pillows and an elaborate bedding ensemble for your double-wide.
  4. You chew Red Man tobacco and spit in a Starbucks cup.
  5. You’ve programmed “Achy Breaky Heart” as the ring tone on your iPhone.
  6. You enjoy fishin’ on Saturday morning and eating $30 sushi on Saturday night.
  7. You use car grease to “style” your hair.
  8. You stop and get a latte on the way to your deer stand.
  9. You know the release dates for the fall clothing line and the flavor rotation on the freezy drink machine.
  10. You own Gucci cowboy boots.

Thanks for participating. Sandy, I declare you the winner. Gas station lunch is on me the next time you’re in town.

And, just for the record, Gary is truly the only metro-rednexual in the crowd.

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