There are few people I enjoy reading more on blogs and Twitter than Michael Hyatt, the president and CEO of Thomas Nelson Publishers. If you’re keeping score at home, I guess Thomas Nelson is the competition, since they REJECTED my book proposal. (Not that I’m bitter or anything.) It was probably out of great regret and remorse that Michael responded to my request for an interview.

TONY: Is it true that Thomas Nelson turned down publishing my book on killing cockroaches because you were concerned about PETA’s reaction?

MICHAEL: Unfortunately, yes. After we published our book, The Christian Cockroach Cookbook, PETA threatened litigation. We notified our insurance carrier, and they insisted that we pull the book. We hated to do it, because it was selling very well—especially among Baptists. But we didn’t really have a choice. The insurance agent then called back and sheepishly asked if he could have a copy of the book. Lucky for him, I didn’t tell PETA.

TONY: Have you ever personally killed a cockroach?

MICHAEL: Not directly, but my shoes have. After the first incident, I reprimanded them. The second time, I issued a written warning. I threatened to send them to Good Will, which, as it turns out, was a bad idea. The shoes then intentionally killed a third cockroach because they actually wanted to go to Goodwill. (Evidently, there are more cockroaches there.) I have personally found that once shoes develop an appetite for killing, they become incorrigible. I hated to see the shoes go, but I think it was probably best for everyone.

TONY: You’re referenced on page 160 of my book. Can you name any Thomas Nelson authors that have quoted you in their books? (I don’t think they like you as much.)

MICHAEL: Other than John Maxwell, John Eldredge, and John MacArthur, no. (Or as I refer to them, “first John, second John, and third John—I’ll let you figure out the order.) Plenty of them have ripped off my content though, hoping I wouldn’t notice. Yea, as if. I am totally on to them. I plan to use it as leverage in future negotiations. I am thankful that at least the Johns had the personal integrity to give credit where credit is due.

TONY: Have you ever visited the offices of B&H Publishing? I don’t think Ed Stetzer really works there. Have you actually ever seen him at the B&H offices?

MICHAEL: Yes, I was actually a consultant at B&H in the early- to mid-90s. I loved the Stalin-esque architecture. They were one of the first organizations, outside of the IRS, to employ this style. It was quite a contrast to the wild and zany people who actually worked at the Sunday School Board (as it was called then). I am not sure about Ed. I can neither confirm nor deny that he works there. You probably need to ask the KGB—er, Lifeway management.

TONY: Speaking of B&H, do you think you could take Thom Rainer in an arm wrestling match?

MICHAEL: Are you kidding me? He’s short, but he’s built like a Sherman tank. If you Google Thom, you’ll discover that while at seminary, he was also a professional wrestler. He wrestled under the name “Thom Thunder.” He traveled with the WWF and would wrestle on Saturday nights. He would then preach on Sunday mornings. It was a great way to put himself through school. And, if you think about it, the jobs are pretty similar. Anywho, he got injured and had to rely exclusively on Bible-thumping. The rumor in the industry, however, is that he is thinking about a come-back. He hear he is secretly training during his lunch hour. Bottom line: No way do I want a piece of that!

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