Ladies, How to Welcome a Man Home
“He’s home! He’s home! He’s home!” My favorite part of each day takes place between 6:30 to 7:00 PM every night. That is when the garage door goes up, the car pulls in, and I walk in the door arriving home from a hard but productive day at work. It has become our family tradition that when I arrive, my wife and daughter shout those six wonderful words in unison. There are then hugs and kisses and a general mini-celebration. I love my job but I also love coming home!
Hollywood experts tell us the initial scene of any movie is critical. The opening scene creates conflict. Man against man; Man against nature; or Man against himself. The opening act sets the stage for the rest of the movie. When a man arrives home, how he is welcomed sets the stage for the rest of the evening.
The following is what I experience and feel because of the way my wife and daughter welcome me home every evening:
- Confidence – The level of a man’s performance is in direct proportion to his wife’s confidence in him. They make me feel so valued and important that I feel I can accomplish almost anything.
- Encouragement – Whatever redeemable qualities I have as a husband and father are reinforced and their attitude compels me to build on those qualities and be the best leader that I possibly can.
- Perspective – This life is joyful but it’s also hard. There are days we all have that we’re simply glad when they’re over. When those days occur, their loving attitude allows proper balance and perspective to return.
- Positive Attitude – Many times at night, there are issues we have to deal with. Whether it’s a phone call received earlier in the day, unwelcome mail, or the challenges of doing homework with my daughter who would rather watch Hannah Montana, I am now able to address those items with a more positive attitude.
- Increased Generosity – There is nothing I wouldn’t do for my family. Their response to my efforts simply makes me want to serve them more and give them everything I can. Their response to my leadership moves me from my natural default mode of greed to one of generosity.
I know what many women may be thinking right now. This post is unrealistic because they are not shouting “He’s home” when their husband arrives. They do not view their husband as the man in the picture above. Here’s my advice: don’t let someone else’s performance or character determines yours.
Men are naturally insecure. That’s a big secret about men, but it’s true. Men want to be heroes but are deathly afraid of failure, not measuring up and not providing. This is in our DNA from Adam and the Garden. Treat him like the knight in shining armor he desperately wants to be, and I guarantee that many times he will become one.
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This is a guest blog from Brian Dodd, Director of Market Development at INJOY Stewardship Solutions. Of course, it’s begging for a response from a woman in the crowd who’s willing to write about how a man should value his wife. Any takers?
“Men want to be heroes but are deathly afraid of failure, not measuring up and not providing”. Yup! We need a lot of support but when we get it we usually thrive! Nice post!
That’s sounds just great. In fact, I’d love to experience the same thing when I come home from work. I think men and women are pretty much alike in this. But you can toss my comment – I’m unmarried and have no children at home. :)
I understand the content of the post, but its a bit sexist. My wife works just as hard as I do and she shouldn’t feel any additional pressure to ‘welcome’ me home. Just because my wife isn’t greeting me at the door giddy doesn’t vary my confidence in myself or our relationship. I just feel that this perspective lacks the idea of a servants heart that we are called to have. Am I insecure? Absolutely. Is it wife’s job to speak into that? No. Does she? Absolutely. But training women on how to properly welcome their spouse home seems… backwards (for lack of a better word).
This is great stuff!! I’m e-mailing it to my wife right now!! Thanks Brian and Tony.
This is a great post. My wife and I set the sort of ‘welcome home’ described in this post as the standard ever since we got married 5 months ago. It always sets the right tone for an evening, and we always look forward to seeing each other after work.
I love this. My workplace is at home and I do work hard. But when he returns, I want him to know he is not only expected but welcomed. I want him to know that no matter how horrible or great the day, his being home again with me makes the top of my list. I want him to know that no matter what I want in the world, no matter what I expect, nothing measures up to his choice to come home one more time.
To do less sends the wrong message.
As for the woman’s viewpoint of how the husband should value his wife…. let me know.
The ‘movie scene’ celebration strikes me as totally hokie. Like Hollywood, we don’t need more artificial, contrived, scenes.
Like the Trinity (Father, Son, and Holy Spirit), we do need real relationship. We do need to honor, respect, and serve each other and that includes speaking into each others’ weaknesses and insecurities.
From a woman’s perspective, I think it would be completely shallow if my husband greeted me with “She’s Home”, “She’s Home”. However, if he truly welcomed me, with love and appreciation then that would set the tone. The reverse would be true for him as well. I think I’ll stick with authenticity.
This is good. I know I don’t set the tone with my husband this way enough. But I do agree that it has to be reversed as well. Like the guy who mentioned that his wife works just as hard as he, I do work just as hard as my husband, and I think it can just simply be applied in the other direction. We should both welcome each other and together learn to show our appreciation for the other and set the right tone for the evening. I love the overall message – the more we are shown appreciation (whether husband for wife or wife for husband), the better we will strive to become.