At the risk of not showing honor to peers in ministry, I want to tackle the topic of honor today. I’m concerned. I see a trend in churches that I think is unhealthy. Honestly, I believe it’s also unbiblical.

There are a number of churches today that are trying to teach a culture of honor. The concept of honor is biblical. In fact, Romans 12:10 tells us to:

“Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.” (ESV)

We should show honor to our leaders, but God designed it to go both directions. If it’s one-way, it’s unhealthy and unbiblical.

Let me explain further how God designed honor to work in church leadership. First of all, we are supposed to submit to our leaders. Hebrews 13:17 says:

“Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you.”

One of the ways we show honor to our leaders is by submitting to their authority. At the same time, though, leaders are instructed to show honor by serving those they lead:

“But Jesus called them to him and said, ‘You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.’”

That’s the servant leadership that seems to be missing when the “culture of honor” is carried out to the extreme. Servant leadership only goes one direction. When that happens, honor only goes one direction.

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My grandfather, who will soon turn 90, was born in the United States. His parents and his brother were immigrants in the U.S. from Matrice, Italy. Matrice is a small village of about 1,000 people in the Molise region east of Rome.

Back in 1987, some of our relatives visited Matrice. With no street address but an old photo, they found a policeman who offered to take them to the house where my great grandparents used to live.

Earlier this week, I found out that Google’s “Street View” now includes Matrice. I’ve been able to explore the village where my ancestors lived almost 100 years ago. And, with confirmation from our relatives, I can share this picture from Street View.

One of these days, I’m going to visit that house. In the mean time, I’m once again amazed at what technology allows us to experience.

In May, I will be speaking at the Whiteboard Sessions in Atlanta. My friend, Jason Young, is running point on this year’s event. The Whiteboard Sessions is a unique event, so I talked to Jason recently to share more about this opportunity. Here’s the interview:

TONY: What made you decide to get into the conference business?

JASON: Conferences have been a part of shaping who I am. As a pastor working in the local church for 14 years, I have attended my share of conferences. Part of wanting to enter the business side of the conference world was a personal curiosity to see how I could provide a different experience for the everyday church leader. The drive for me is to equip influencers. I believe every leader has the opportunity to influence those they lead. What if a conference could help positively change the trajectory of one’s work and personal life?

TONY: What would be a win for you in this conference?

JASON: First, to fill 700 seats with hungry influencers. Second, that attendees identify one idea/strategy that could help them in their ministry. This gathering is a convergence of the right presenters, with the right message, with the needs of the influencers in mind, and in a safe environment where significant conversations and meaningful relationships can take root.

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Love this new video from Granger Community Church (HT: Tim Stevens). It does a great job of casting vision for a church to be outward-focused, impacting the lives of people in our communities.

Read more about where Granger is heading next.

If you’ve been to London, you’re very likely familiar with “The Tube”. The Tube is what they call their subway system. Wherever you travel using the subway in London, you’re always told to “Mind the gap.” You hear that phrase on the loudspeakers. You see that phrase plastered throughout the subways. You won’t be in London very long before you’re aware of the warning to “Mind the gap.”

When you’re traveling in London, “the gap” refers to the space between the subway platform and the train. As you’re stepping out the train, there’s a caution to mind the gap between the train and the platform. It would be a bad day if you fell in the gap.

That word picture struck a chord with me, because I think there’s a gap that exists in churches today as well. In recent months, I’ve been warning church leaders to “Mind the gap.” There’s a gap between the vision and the people who are waiting to execute the vision. Unfortunately, leaders with big vision tend to ignore the gap. They buy into the myth that if people unify behind a clear vision, the ministry will succeed. Let me explain why that type of thinking may lead to you getting stuck.

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A couple of weeks ago, Emily and I were having dinner with our friends Andy and Ashley. During our conversation, Andy mentioned a letter his dad gave him just before their wedding back in 1997. Andy’s parents have been happily married for 40 years, so I was curious about what was in that letter. Andy agreed to share it with me so that I could share it with you. Here’s the letter.

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Andy,

Talk! Talk! Talk about everything with Ashley and respect each other’s opinion, and use each other’s areas of expertise. Together you will be an unbeatable team!

Don’t ever complain about your wife to your friends about little or big things. It gives others the wrong impression about your marriage and relationship.

Money! Agree on how to spend it. Make a budget together so you are in total agreement about where your priorities are. Decide how much to spend without discussion.

Complaining! A little goes a long way. Don’t fall into the trap of making complaining a major topic of conversation. Don’t go to work somewhere for eight hours a day then spend the first hour together complaining about it. Be a positive person! Change what needs changing. Fix what you can fix. Understand the realities of a situation then comment on it, learn to live with it, or take yourself out of the situation. Complaining is counter-productive.

If something bothers you about your wife, discuss it with her, that is, only if it is something you can’t live with. Remember, you did not marry her to change her. You fell in love with her the way she is.

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Erik Calonius

Earlier this week, I share some highlights from the new book Ten Steps Ahead by Erik Calonius. Erik has been a writer with the Wall Street Journal and Fortune. I caught up with him last weekend for a quick interview. Here’s our dialogue:

TONY: I’m always intrigued by the story behind the story. What prompted you to write a book about visionaries?

ERIK: An editor at Penguin came up with the idea. I had just finished collaborating on Predictably Irrational (a bestseller about cognitive psychology) and Wired for Thought (about brain science) and said, “Suppose we take brain science and psychology and look at visionaries under that lens?”

TONY: Your book features the stories of a number of great visionaries. Who is your favorite and why?

ERIK: Virgin CEO Richard Branson. I had a wonderful time hanging around with him in England in the mid-1980s. He has charisma, vision, and above all he makes being a visionary seem easy–and fun!

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Earlier this week, I had the opportunity to sit down with Sean Cannell from THiNK International and William Vanderbloemen to talk about church staffing and team strategy. Here’s the video interview:

“When we are saying open your eyes and do those things it’s because we want you to connect. You are writing a letter. You’re telling a story. I don’t want the intensity to come from you wanting to do well. I want the intensity to come because your heart is breaking.” –Jennifer Lopez

Over the last few months, I’ve been highlighting Bellevue Church Management System (bvcms), a new church management solution. One of the unique features is that it’s an open source solution.

Open source software is computer software code that is made available to the public under a software license agreement that permits users to use, change and improve the software and redistribute it under the terms of the license agreement. While open source software is free (there is no purchase price), it does have obligations to users. bvcms is licensed under the GNU General Public License which requires any derived works to be made available under the same license. This guarantees that the project will be forever free to users and developers.

Here are some advantages of bvcms being open source:

1. This is the only completely open source church management solution.
2. Invites developers to the table to improve upon bvcms.
3. Puts the power into the hands of the church to uniquely alter the software for their church if so desired.
4. Makes a statement that this was developed by the church, for the church and was never intended to become an enterprising exercise.
5. Open source removes the barrier of entry and ‚ democratizes the church management process for churches of all sizes.

No longer do you need to be a big church to afford a robust system. Larger churches don’t have to pay what is essentially a staff member’s salary to a to have a fully functioning church management solution.

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This is a sponsored post from Bellevue Church Management System, one of my ministry partners on TonyMorganLive.com.