20 Things We Learned to Stay Married for 20 Years

May 11, 2011 in Other Stuff with 14 Comments

Emily and I got married on May 11, 1991. We met in junior high school. We started dating when we were sophomores in high school. Then we kept on dating because we thought it was a rule that you had to complete college before you could get married. That was a long wait.

Being married for 20 years involves some hard work. (I think people forget that part.) With that in mind, Emily and I compiled this list together. (She likes lists too.) Here are…

20 Things We Learned to Stay Married for 20 Years

  1. Marry your best friend.
  2. Don’t expect to change them.
  3. Take trips together…without the kids.
  4. Laugh together.
  5. Talk about everything. No secrets.
  6. Go to bed together…every night.
  7. Flirt.
  8. Decide who does what and do it well.
  9. Give your spouse freedom to soar.
  10. Keep it spicy. (You know what I mean.)
  11. Never say anything negative about your spouse.
  12. Dream together.
  13. Play together.
  14. Take steps toward Christ…together.
  15. Take time to celebrate.
  16. Establish boundaries with the opposite sex.
  17. Go on dates often and hold hands.
  18. Decide together on how to spend money.
  19. Don’t let your kids or your job become the priority.
  20. Say “I love you” often.

Today we celebrate 20 years of being married. I’ve been fortunate to accomplish many things in my life, but being married to Emily for 20 years is the accomplishment that I am most proud of. That’s probably because I got to experience this with Emily. Those that know me well, know without a doubt that she’s my best friend.

14 Responses to “20 Things We Learned to Stay Married for 20 Years”

  1. Darrin Greene May 11, 2011 at 12:32 pm #

    Thanks for sharing Tony. Great post and all the best on the next 20 years.

  2. Josh Bartolomucci May 11, 2011 at 12:47 pm #

    Congratulations Tony! This is very encouraging and inspiring. Real men and women of God displaying His glory through their commitment to each other. Thanks for sharing this beautiful celebration with your readers!

  3. David Morton May 11, 2011 at 12:58 pm #

    Happy Anniversary Tony! Great advice. I wish couples today would be given these tips before marriage. There seems to be a lack of seriousness to marriage these days.

  4. Tammy May 11, 2011 at 7:03 pm #

    Happy anniversary!

  5. Eileen May 11, 2011 at 7:06 pm #

    Great list…definitely sharing this with my hubby. Thanks!

  6. Lisa May 12, 2011 at 12:23 am #

    Your photo caught my eye on my Flipboard twitter feed. I wore the same wedding gown (by Galina) when I married my best friend 20 years ago! Great list. We concur! Happy Anniversary!

    • tony May 12, 2011 at 8:10 am #

      Actually, Emily had someone custom-make that dress. It’s one-of-a-kind.

  7. Charles Hill May 12, 2011 at 1:17 pm #

    great post…and CONGRATS BRO!

  8. Brian Dodd May 12, 2011 at 10:13 pm #

    Tony,

    I celebrated my 20th anniversary this past February 9th. Was 1991 was a great year or what?! Congratulations and I hope the next 20 years are even better!

    Brian

    • Kimberly Marshall May 16, 2011 at 7:29 pm #

      Congrats on 20 years!! Loved the post “20 Things We Learned to Stay Married for 20 Years”. I am a list person for sure too. Before I met Troy I made a list to God regarding what I wanted in a husband and it came true. We will celebrate our 17th year anniversary in September. Kimberly Marshall

  9. Kaela May 19, 2011 at 12:02 pm #

    For someone who is 21 and has a desire to one day marry, these tips important and things that I wish more people knew. Congrats on your marriage, I love yals influence at Oak Leaf. Here’s to not just the next 20 yrs, but all the years beyond that.

  10. Linny Best May 21, 2011 at 2:22 pm #

    Thanks for sharing! Love the simplicity and practicality of these 20 things!! Congratulations on 20 years by the way!

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