20 Things We Learned to Stay Married for 20 Years

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Emily and I got married on May 11, 1991. We met in junior high school. We started dating when we were sophomores in high school. Then we kept on dating because we thought it was a rule that you had to complete college before you could get married. That was a long wait.

Being married for 20 years involves some hard work. (I think people forget that part.) With that in mind, Emily and I compiled this list together. (She likes lists too.) Here are…

20 Things We Learned to Stay Married for 20 Years

  1. Marry your best friend.
  2. Don’t expect to change them.
  3. Take trips together…without the kids.
  4. Laugh together.
  5. Talk about everything. No secrets.
  6. Go to bed together…every night.
  7. Flirt.
  8. Decide who does what and do it well.
  9. Give your spouse freedom to soar.
  10. Keep it spicy. (You know what I mean.)
  11. Never say anything negative about your spouse.
  12. Dream together.
  13. Play together.
  14. Take steps toward Christ…together.
  15. Take time to celebrate.
  16. Establish boundaries with the opposite sex.
  17. Go on dates often and hold hands.
  18. Decide together on how to spend money.
  19. Don’t let your kids or your job become the priority.
  20. Say “I love you” often.

Today we celebrate 20 years of being married. I’ve been fortunate to accomplish many things in my life, but being married to Emily for 20 years is the accomplishment that I am most proud of. That’s probably because I got to experience this with Emily. Those that know me well, know without a doubt that she’s my best friend.

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About Author

Tony is the Chief Strategic Officer and founder of The Unstuck Group. For 14 years, Tony served on the senior leadership teams at West Ridge Church (Dallas, GA), NewSpring Church (Anderson, SC) and Granger Community Church (Granger, IN). He's written several books and articles that have been featured with the Willow Creek Association, Catalyst and Pastors.com.

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