I’m traveling with Mark Waltz and Kem Meyer this weekend. We’re in Anderson, South Carolina visiting Perry Noble and the NewSpring Church team. I’ll offer more details about that later, but, in my commitment to full disclosure, I need to share with you an incident that occurred yesterday.
This, of course, is when I would normally provide my hotel soap update. Not this time. I can’t. I don’t want to incriminate the hotel where I’m staying, because the hotel had absolutely nothing to do with what happened to me.
It all began yesterday afternoon. Mark, Kem and I had just finished our workout at Anytime Fitness. Because I didn’t want to stink when I went out to eat with Perry and his wife, I decided to grab a quick shower. I had just finished lathering my back with the more the adequate bar of hotel soap, and I turned to rinse off. In the process of trying to turnaround in the shower, I lost my footing.
At that moment, my thoughts began to slow precipitously. First, I realized I lost my footing. Then I realized, I’m not going to be able to regain my footing. Then I realized, I’m going to fall in the bathtub. Then I began to realize, no, there’s no way I’m going to land “in” the bathtub. I grabbed for the shower curtain. Not sure why I did that. There was a large bar on the shower wall. Someone probably wisely put it there for people like me that have a propensity to fall when making sharp turns in the bathtub.
So, as I said, I grabbed for the shower curtain. That was helpful for a moment. It slowed the fall, but then the curtain ripped off the shower rod. By this time, by body was failing wildly across the bathroom. By the time I came to rest, my body was lodged between the bathtub and the toilet. The shower curtain was on the other side of the bathroom under the sink. The shower was still on. And, my back was still well lathered.
Honestly, the first thought that ran through my mind at this point wasn’t, “Am I OK? Am I hurt?” And, I wasn’t thinking, “Man, I’m fortunate, I could have hit my head and be in bad shape right now.” My first thought was this, “Dear God. I will never make fun of people who listen to country music again. Just don’t let Mark come in here to make sure I’m OK and see me sprawled out naked on the bathroom floor.”
At that point, I lifted myself off the bathroom floor, and tried to at least turn off the water so that it wasn’t spraying all over. Instead of turning the water off, I inadvertently turned the water temperature to its hottest setting. Of course I didn’t realize that until I had the curtain in my hand and was trying to reattach it to the shower rod. I scorched my right foot. But, I should point out, my back was still well lathered.
By the time I was fully recovered and fully rinsed, I ended up with minor scrapes on my back and a very red right foot. The only thing that was truly damaged was my ego. But, honestly, I’m a little concerned about my relationship with Mark Waltz. I’ve wondered several times over the last 24 hours, “What if I was really hurt?” How long would Mark have waited before he came and found out if I was really OK?” I guess I’ve found that you learn who your true friends are when you are sprawled out naked on the bathroom floor of a hotel room in Anderson, South Carolina. To Mark’s credit, though, he did provide this very detailed sketch to graphically represent my verbal description of “the fall.”
By the way, I executed all the pivots in the bathtub flawlessly this morning. I survived the shower without incident. My new streak of showers without falling begins today.