My apologies to everyone who participated in the Metro-Rednexual Contest. I’ve been delayed in compiling the results. After reviewing all the submissions, I’ve arrived at the following top 10 list. Without further delay:
You might be a metro-rednexual if…
- You have a gun rack in the back of your Audi.
- You have highlights in your mullet.
- You have matching throw pillows and an elaborate bedding ensemble for your double-wide.
- You chew Red Man tobacco and spit in a Starbucks cup.
- You’ve programmed “Achy Breaky Heart” as the ring tone on your iPhone.
- You enjoy fishin’ on Saturday morning and eating $30 sushi on Saturday night.
- You use car grease to “style” your hair.
- You stop and get a latte on the way to your deer stand.
- You know the release dates for the fall clothing line and the flavor rotation on the freezy drink machine.
- You own Gucci cowboy boots.
Thanks for participating. Sandy, I declare you the winner. Gas station lunch is on me the next time you’re in town.
And, just for the record, Gary is truly the only metro-rednexual in the crowd.