I miss being in ministry. Up until about 12 years ago, I used to be engaged in a leadership role in the marketplace that looks very different from my role today. I used to interact with folks on a daily basis who were searching for hope and healing and purpose in their lives but didn’t know where to find it. I used to have influence in my marketplace role that allowed me to be connected with sharp people outside the church. I used to be able to bring a biblical influence to the real world. Then, one day, I walked away from ministry.
I took a leadership role in the church, and my influence changed. I no longer get to hangout with “normal” people. Most of my life is spent with people who who think and believe like me. I no longer get to directly influence the lives of leaders outside the church. The title “pastor” shuts down conversations. I don’t get to live life with people outside the faith. For the most part, my life revolves around people who have already committed their lives to Christ.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not second-guessing my calling. I wouldn’t go back. I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing. But let’s face it…this really isn’t ministry. I encourage God’s people to do ministry, but I’m not really in ministry. I challenge church leaders to embrace new methods of outreach, but I’m not directly engaged in outreach. I get tastes of it in how I live out my life, but it’s not the primary pattern of my life. I’m primarily with Christ-followers. That’s not real ministry.
The vast majority of people in the church are still called to ministry. They’re not called to do what I do.
I just wanted to admit that there are times when I’m jealous of those who are still in ministry.